I dabble in sketching myself, but I'm no Da Vinci. I have a ton of his masterpieces in my house. He often expresses his thoughts, ideas with drawings, based on characters he has seen. As a parent, once in a while you need to be reminded of taking your own medicine. As well as having personal reponsibility and the endless possibility of dicovering and fulfilling one's own potential. When he says something, he means it from his heart.Īmong other things, I have always encouraged honesty with my son. With this, he is not the type of child who would hide his emotions from anyone. He's diagnosed with high-functioning autism. He is the most honest, true, loving child I can ever hope for. I have been experiencing such learning with my 7-year old son. I think this applies to any relationship, more so with parent-child. The relationship should be cyclical, learning should go hand in hand. He describes this as the dynamic in a mentor-dsiciple/teacher-student's relationship. A river's grandeur attests to the greatness of its source.". I am creating my own person, and my own version of motherhood.ĭaisaku Ikeda said that, "Mentor and disciples are inseperable. I took the great traits of hers that I admire, and made up some of my own. I've become a strong-willed, independent, global, with a mixture of my own traits ~ loving, happy, adventurous, courageous woman. Perhaps to some people who can never manipulate me, it is a negative, because I am my own person that cannot succumb to someon e lse's role. I never saw these qualities as a negative. He had always thought that I was too strong willed, a perfectionist. My fights with my ex-husband was primarily because he could not bend me to his own will.
I seem this "nuggets of wisdom" in my own decisions in life. In a way, I have become somewhat of a synthesis of my mother. She never expected me to be co-dependent of her. She has taught me the value of self-reliance, to be a useful member of the society, make something out of myself, no matter what it is. I am lucky to have a mother that has always encouraged me to be an independent person, not rely on anybody else, not even your spouse or partner. She has always told me to become a "global citizen", expose oneself to different cultures, the world does not revolve around the Philippines, mingle with different people. I see her as someone who has always been ahead of her time, even ahead of her own culture. And there truly are things to admire about my mom. Thus, I now only look at the things that I admire about her. I think I have a certain level of maturity now to truly understand my mother and myself. It is up to an individual on how they want to define their own relationships and how it means to them.ĭespite my many anxieties, neurosis and paranoia, I can now truly say that I am quite lucky to have the kind of mother that I have. It took me 30 years to truly understand that relationships are subjective. It is quite funny how society can give a strong stereotype as to how mothers and daughters should act and define how relationships should be. As I get older, I guess, life is all about perception. Therapists might say that this is perhaps why I'm having my own issues with my self-esteem. I have always felt that I can't do good enough. I've seen her as somewhat of a perfectionist - always be number one, and she does not give compliments easily. Growing up, I've always thought of my mother as someone being cold, distant, very much into her career. She had to go to Europe for her graduate studies. The earliest memory I've had with my mother was her leaving for Europe when I was 6. I've always wanted to have a loving, girl-power kind of relationship with my mother. I dare say I've never had this kind of relationship. I've seen other mother-daughter relationships through friends and acquaintances, that I found loving, warm, being about two people enjoying other people's company. The relationship I've had with my mother is always a complex one.
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